Cranky Monkey

12 Hours of Cranky Monkey

This past weekend brought all the excitement, headaches, nausea and fun that is endurance racing. The 12 Hours of Cranky Monkey was being put on by EX2 Adventures on the Quantico Marine Base. This was the first occurrence of what will hopefully become an annual event.

After asking around about the course, I decided it be best if I were able to get up there Saturday afternoon after work for a quick pre-ride. While I was up there I would also be able to sign-in and reserve a pit location next to JB and Jason as well.


The pre-ride went something like this: Jump on the bike ... Ride about 4.5 miles ... Catch a flat on the rear ... "SHIT! I don't have the tools to get my chain tensioners off!" ... Hike last 5 miles or so out. Not a total loss though. I was able to gather that although I was able to push the 36X16 ratio I did not think I would be able to do it for 12 hours. While riding, err hiking, Mom and Dad setup/reserved a pit.

On the way back to the house, I was wondering what may have caused the flat. Puncture or Pinch? That was the question. Got home, threw the BUSS up on the stand to find it was a pinch. Thought to myself "Hey stupid! Put some air in your tires!" Wanting to make sure I did not pinch again tomorrow I put a couple extra pounds in. Started my search for a bigger freewheel as well. Turns out I have a couple 17's and one 18. 18 it was! Through it on, washed my hands and off to bed.

When we arrived back on the base Sunday morning Mom and Dad finished setting up the pit while I went to get my baton. Found out that there were 7 in the SS solo class now and not just 3. This was cool because it meant more people to race against. I stayed with my original plan however, which was to try to keep pace with the other larger solo class if possible.

Race started promptly at 8am with a 400 yard Le Mans style run. Have I ever voiced my opinion of Le Mans starts? Well I HATE them! Running is not fun to me at all! You see all those bikes in the racks to the right? Well lets just say I had no problem finding mine once I got to them. Seemed almost all of the ones around mine had disappeared down the trail by that time.

Keeping a steady pace I was told I was the second solo rider to check in at the end of the first lap. "Really?" I asked. That is a bit odd for me as I usually start really slow and play the I can outlast you game. I told myself not to do anything silly and just to keep MY pace and things will unfold as they will.

Somewhere in the lap 3-4 range the nausea came. "This cannot be good." While trying to figure out what might have been causing it, the nausea became vomiting on the side of the trail. Got back on the bike trying to salvage the lap. While passing through an aid station I took on a cup of water so I could rinse my mouth out. Saw a few riders dumping the water over their head and began to ponder if it was the heat making me sick. Over the head the rest of the cup of water went. Damn that was cold! Felt a little better however.

Took on more Carb/Hydro-boom to replenish what I just lost on the side of the trail, at the end of the lap. It didn't take long for my stomach to settle down once again when I noticed the tops of my feet were beginning to be rubbed raw from all the hiking I was doing. It took less energy to walk the bigger climbs than it did to ride them. That's the wonderful thing about endurance racing, one thing never plagues you for too long as something always comes around to make you forget the other part hurt just moments before.

Post Race Rawness

Started lap 7 still in second place. Got about 2 miles into the lap when I hear the dreaded ... Psssssssssssttttttttt after one of the handful of logpiles. "SHIT! I don't have a pump!" I had loaned my pump to another rider a few laps ago and never stopped by the pit to get it. Luckily for me I was able to borrow one from a fellow SS solo rider who was a couple of laps down. Having changed many a tubes before, I took my time, checked the tire for any shards of what caused the flat then put the new tube in. While I was busy forcing air into the new tube I saw another SS rider come by ... "Are you solo?" I asked. Guy replies, "I'm in second place. I cannot stop!".

A running dialogue with myself began. "Did he really just yell at me? If he is in second, does that mean I had moved up to first? I have to catch him! Did he really just yell at me?" Caught up to him on the flat section on the top of the next climb. We had a brief conversation about placing and then another big climb came. I had decided I would do whatever he did on the climb. If he walked, I would walk. If he rode, I would ride. He dismounted at the bottom of the hill. Seeing just how far he would have to walk, I got the crazy idea to continue riding. But not at an easy pace. Time to get the time gap back. Up the hill I went trying to ignore the fact my HR just went through the roof! By the end of the lap I had put 4 minutes between the two of us.

John and I on the long and fast gravel decent

On Lap 8 I forgot about my raw feet as the nausea had returned. Somewhere before the first aid station at the 3.5 mile marker I began to vomit once again. I had been to occupied with the time gaps to remember to pour the ice cold water over my head. Arrived at the aid station, poured the water over my bald head and kept riding. A few miles later I noticed that once again my stomach decided to behave itself. At that moment I began to convince myself it was the heat and to grab and pour at every aid station. There were three by the way.

After lap 9 Dad had told me I was gaining on the leader with every lap. Do I actually have a chance at winning this thing? Probably not still about 12 minutes behind. Tried to push myself a little harder on the 10th lap as the time was winding down. Plan was if I could make it back before the cut off time of 7 o'clock and I was still the same distance down on first I was just going to wait and see if 3rd place made it back in time to go out for another lap. I was feeling confident that with a 10-15 minute rest while waiting for him I would be able to out ride him on the last lap if we left at the same time.

Finishing Lap 10 alongside JB

Finished lap 10 with about 20 minutes remaining. Mom and Dad were fairly certain third place would make it back before 7. They made me eat once again, gave me a couple of fresh bottles and sent me on my way. I was happy with finishing in second so I was just riding to "stay out of trouble". A little more cautiously than before but not to cautiously. Finished the race in second place.


Mom and Dad were sitting just across the finish line in the transition area looking much happier than I did.

Mom: "We think you just won!"
Me: "What?! I never passed the leader."
Dad: "He started the 10th lap after you. He took a break and then didn't make it back in time to start the last lap."
Me: "Seriously?!"
Mom: "Go ask the scorer"
Me: "Could you tell me where I finished, please?"
Timer: "You finished in first, congratulations."
Me: "Holy Shit!"

Still in somewhat disbelief that I had pulled another one off, I headed back to the pit sit down. OK crash on the ground and want to weep. Everything on my body had begun to hurt. After cleaning up the pit area we headed over to the awards assembly. Come to find out not only did I win my class but I did more laps than any other solo rider in any of the classes as well. Tell you what I felt every one of those laps on the ride home and while trying to sleep Sunday night.


Thanks go out to EX2 Adventures, all the great volunteers, the rider that loaned me his pump, JB and Jason for the encouragement along the trail, Carb-boom, Twin-Six, Maxxis (Those High Rollers are ama-za-zing!) and especially my parents! Without you two it would not have been possible. You guys kept me out of the pits (never entered them once!) and rolling forward.

I will be off the bike until Saturday's pre-ride at the Scout Camp where Yoda Lama's Juicy Sin will be getting together for a few laps. Looking forward to it guys!

Met up with Travis for the first half of the last of the pre-Cranky two-a-days. Put in a little short of 50 miles in on the road mostly on my favorite Riverside route. Afterwards went home for a few short hours to grab some grub watch part of the Cubs game and then grab the mtb and head out to PSP for a spin with Chris. Have to say, the pace was a relaxed one full of great conversation and it is great to have you back on the bike again.

Alarm went off for work this morning but totally do not remember turning it off. Made it to work just a few minutes before scheduled. For the rest of the day I have been fighting heavy eyelids. This is not good considering there are a bunch of Marines waiting to Spank my monkey on Sunday. The good news though is it feels as if I have plenty of energy and was actually itching to go for a short spin this evening. Knowing that I need rest more than anything now I talked myself out of it and instead gave the BUSS a look-see and a bath. It's all clean now and looking as Butt Ugly as ever!

Heading up for a pre-ride tomorrow afternoon then meeting up with JB to reserve a couple of pit stalls next to each other. Race on Sunday!

Before heading out for a ride at the Scout Camp last night I had to get rid of the awful creaks that were coming from somewhere under my arse on the BUSS. Knowing it could be a couple of things such as the bottom bracket and or an ungreased seatpost I decided to pull both re-grease and make sure everything was tight once again. The good news, the creaks are gone. The weird news is I think that is the first time since I took ownership of the bike that I have removed the seatpost entirely. Now not removing it is not the weird part. It is what I found when I did remove it.

Probably the longest seatpost I have ever seen in my life. Seriously who needs a seatpost this long? If you needed it to be raised that much, wouldn't you need a tad larger frame?

Arrived out at the Scout Camp for the first episode of what is going to become a regular pre-ride event for the 18 Hours on the Farm. Cycles Ed has once again delivered with a fantastically fun fast course. Running in the opposite direction of last year with much of the fireroad removed and replaced with singletrack this event is going to be amazing! Cannot wait for August to come around!

Not overlooking this weekend's adventure through the woods on the Quantico Marine Base however. Planning another two-a-day today (road with Travis and then PSP with Chris) but both will be at a pretty relaxed pace, I hope. Going to take Friday off from riding and then heading up to Quantico Saturday afternoon for a pre-ride of the course before the fun begins on Sunday morning.

Week in Review....

While all the locals were getting excited about the upcoming Xterra Games here in Richmond, I was taking it easy on the road all last week. Being lucky enough to have a work schedule this past week which allowed for me to ride to work 4 out of the 5 days without having to cross the bridge after dark, I took advantage of it. Not only did I not have to pay the $3 a gallon for gas in the car but I was able to get some good road miles in which is what I need to stay in shape for this weekend's 12 hours of Cranky Monkey.

Met a few folks over at Reedy Creek for what was supposed to be a Mellow Monday ride on the course the previously mentioned Xterra Games used just 2 days before. After a quick bottom bracket adjust for Joel we were back on our way for our anything but Mellow ride. Renamed Maniac Monday for the time being all of us were begging for the insanity to be over by the end of the ride.

Was able to get in a couple of decent road rides in (effort wise) yesterday and again this morning. If the weather holds off I'll be heading out to play in the dirt at an undisclosed location tonight with a few insanely fast locals. A little TLC for the BUSS is in order first however.

The Hydro-Boom has arrived from Carb-Boom. Tasted both the Orange-Mango and the Raspberry-Lemon and have to say both are very good tasting. The Raspberry-Lemon smells and tastes a bit like cotton candy in my opinion. This may or may not sound good to you but for someone with as big of a sweet tooth as myself it is P-E-R-F-E-C-T! Cannot wait for the Carb-boom to arrive early next week.